And the winners are...

An impressive number of people sent explanations for last week’s odd occurrences to funnyandinteresting@gmail.com. Even more mailed me claiming to be the people I observed. But the majority of emails I received asked me entirely un-related questions. Thus, picking the winners was no easy task and I have included the top three explanations, though only the first is the true winner.

Who was the French man with a name label on his shoe?

The explanations for this conundrum were most curious. The only person who really got close to a feasible reason for the shoe tag was Wesley from Massachussetts who said,

1. The French man might be worried about security, when you have to take your shoes off and put them through the x-ray machine.

2. I tag my shoes when I travel. What’s the big deal? –Jenny, Maryland

So Jenny comes in second, not for explaining anything, but for her honesty.

3. In my opinion the French man on the bus is a would-be serial killer. When you spotted him he was carrying out a preliminary inspection for an oncoming murder. Contrary to your first impression he is very intelligent: the idea of committing murder in a highly guarded place like an airport doesn't scare him, to the contrary he finds the challenge impossible to resist. Maybe he benefits from diplomatic immunity and he is planning to keep a "souvenir" from his victim in his briefcase. Probably when you met him he was thinking about the way to get rid of the murder weapon, bloody clothes, shoes etc.; perhaps he was indulging in the idea of using paper luggage name labels to communicate with the detectives and mock them. —Stefano, Italy

I have no idea what Stefano is talking about but I admire his commitment to explaining so many occurrences. I figure since he’s Italian I can chalk up my misunderstanding to some sort of language or cultural barrier.

Who are the three synchronized texters in Battery Park?

1. The men in Battery Park are street performers, their art is a blend between dance and theatre: they intend to stigmatize today's conformism, compulsive use of wireless handheld devices that support information services, loss of the physical context in human interactions. —Stefano, Italy

Stefano, you sound like a true performance art critic! I like this interpretation because it’s totally bizarre, totally New York, and on top of that, probably right.

2. These men are operatives sent out by apple to make blackberry users think that they are unknowingly part of a weird clan of nerds. Damn, apple is so clever. –Spencer, Brooklyn

Spencer comes in a close second for obvious reasons. Genius.

3. Obviously you saw the Men in Black. They forgot to erase your memory. --Dan, California

Dan comes in third for thinking exactly the same thing as me.

What type of party was going on in the sushi restaurant?

1. One word: Ninjas. –Chris, NYC

First place goes to Chris. While many submissions cited ninja’s in their lengthy explanations, Chris showed himself to be from the inside of ninja culture, Zen, and understanding that the Ninja needs no explanation.

2. The Asian women were ninja’s and the older couple, CIA informants. The women wore sexy clothing because that’s what ninja’s wear and you have to wear a dress if you’re going to disguise the nunchucks on your thigh. The older couple dressed discreetly and conservatively as they have been trained to do. –Aggie, NY

Aggie deserves second because she kept her Ninja explanation short and cited only the obvious pieces of evidence—ninja’s need nunchucks, they obviously wear dresses.

3. An old white couple and five oriental chicks lead to a badly assorted mix: what about an unwilling misrepresentation? According to this hypothesis you could have seen a white couple having green tea and, at another table, five independent stylish oriental girls getting ready for a nuit a la mode; but you compressed two ordinary scenes forging a tricky situation. At this point the question is: why did that confusion happen? Of course in the blog you didn't report a dream, a context in which such a compression would be normal, so I want to point out a hypothetical "side effect" of beans intake. In fact, if my memory didn't fail me, the first version of your report spoke about a red bean ice cream, while in the current version this detail is not there anymore; well, several fungi represent a threat for edible beans cultivation and storing, and they can be a menace to human health as well, once they are introduced into the body: let's consider the eventuality of a weak hallucinogenic ergot-like effect, an individual feedback of your central nervous system to spores aggression (let's say Sclerotinia sclerotiorum spores, usually nontoxic after per os administration). That would explain the badly assorted company and the hesitations in your report: what happened to the woman's seaweed salad and to the man's hot sake? Are the girls Chinese? Japanese? Of course I rule out any literary purport and I can't consider the eventuality of a lapse of memory (you're a smart young woman...): an unexpected acid trip is the most likely suspect. —Stefano, Italy

I give Stefano third place for his sheer creativity and his commitment to explain. However, his insinuation that I unknowingly went on an acid trip puts him in third—come on Stefano, you have to play to the judge! Also, Stefano had so many other good explanations I don’t feel bad putting him in third here.

Why did my neighbor say the chairs were not free, when they are not for sale either?

1. I am your neighbor, and I’m watching you. –Sammy, VT

I’m sorry Sammy, as creepy as your explanation was my neighbor’s doorbell has his name on it, and it’s not Sammy. However, seeing as this is the only explanation I was emailed, I say congratulations on a first prize from funnyandinteresting.

Why did the couple with distinctive luggage see the need to mark their bags with green elastic?

1. The Kelly green couple may have bought their luggage at some discount place that only sells the ugly weird colors. Of they could have had trouble with people stealing their luggage before and want to make sure they can see it from very far away. —Fiona, Massachusetts

Fiona wins and is uncontested. Apparently this was less weird than I thought. Good job Fiona for being reasonable and understanding of ugly luggage.

Thank you all for your creativity and participation.